A growing pessimism surrounds the search for love, with tensions between single men and women reaching a new peak. This “dating war” is being explored in culture, from viral new terms to a film that pushes the dynamic to its satirical extreme.
In the new movie Oh, Hi!, what begins as a romantic cabin getaway for Iris and her date, Isaac, quickly devolves into a hostage situation. Hours after chaining Isaac to the bed, Iris confronts him. Despite having violated his basic rights, she demands an apology from him.
From her perspective, the apology is deserved. The night before his capture, Isaac had wooed her with a homemade scallop dinner, told her he had mentioned their trip to his mother, and danced with her under string lights. Later, however, he shattered the illusion by revealing he was not looking for a relationship, dismissing their four months together as just “having fun.” His casual dismissal of what Iris believed was a serious courtship provoked a mix of rage and desire, leading her to take him captive.
She gives him an ultimatum: 12 hours to prove they are a perfect match, or at least to admit he was wrong to mislead her. She frames the ordeal as “a gift that can save you from self-sabotage.”
The film, a satire on modern dating dynamics, shows Iris confiding in her best friend, who is immediately supportive of her extreme actions. Her friend’s justification: “You know how hard it is for me to meet people and connect.” The movie frequently depicts Iris with black mascara running down her cheeks—a universal symbol for a woman in romantic crisis, and a feeling many single women in their late twenties and early thirties may find relatable. The plot even sees the characters turn to witchcraft to remedy the situation.
While women are not taking their dates hostage en masse, the movie’s premise taps into a cultural sentiment that has reached a fever pitch. The New York Times Magazine recently published an extensive feature on the idea that heterosexual dating is more fraught than ever, possibly to a fatalistic degree. The phenomenon now has a name: heterofatalism.
