When we fall in love, we think the partner is a perfect person, and our minds secrete all kinds of feel-good chemicals, however, that feeling of being in heaven fades after a while.
Your brain eventually stops producing these substances, and you slowly begin to return to normal. While some people continue to live happily, others begin to realize that their supposed “ideal partner” is not perfect anymore. Some may realize that their partner is emotionally unstable.
However, how do you know if your husband is emotionally unstable or if what is happening is normal in marriage.
Symptoms of emotional instability
Everyone has bad days and mood swings, and in order to know that someone has exceeded the limit, there are signs of that, most notably what Psychology Today offers:
If your spouse seems to explode out of anger for no apparent reason, or over small, petty things, this is a warning sign.
never ending drama
We all go through things we don’t want, yet we adapt trying to change circumstances and move on in life. However, an unstable person will turn his life into a never-ending drama, when there is no need for it in the first place.
Changes in mood happen to everyone relatively insignificantly, and they usually happen based on things beyond their control. But an unstable person can experience extreme mood swings for no good reason.
lack of empathy
Empathy is the ability to feel what other people are feeling, and to understand their point of view despite our differences. For the emotionally unstable, they are generally unable to do so. They only see the situation from their side.
Unstable people are always in a power struggle with you, even on a negative level. If you are going through bad circumstances for example, they will tell you how their things are worse. They always try to compete with you and win just to win even in simple argument and discussion about different points of view, the important thing is to make you lose.
Not admitting a mistake
Emotionally unstable people cannot admit their mistakes. Admitting they are wrong shakes their core and self-identity, and is considered a threat to their mental health. So they would never admit defeat, even if they knew secretly that they were wrong.
sense of entitlement
A psychologically unstable husband believes that he deserves everything, even if he does not give anything in return. They ask you to do things for them because they think it is their right to do so.
The best way to deal with problems in marital relations is for both spouses to be in the same direction, and to come to a common solution, but emotionally unstable are unable to do this, because they always look at things emotionally and irrationally.
Unstable people do not take personal responsibility for their actions, point fingers at others, and blame them for everything that is wrong in their lives.
Fear of criticism or rejection
Emotionally unstable people are extremely afraid of negative emotional experiences, such as being criticized or rejected, even though they are, to some extent, part of life.
How do you deal with an emotionally unstable husband?
Medium offers some steps you can take to deal with your unstable partner.
Acceptance and respect
Acceptance is the first rule that must be respected if you want to continue in a marital relationship. Accept your husband as he is so you can live in peace with him, emphasizing that acceptance does not mean you have to say “yes” to everything.
Do not give in to negative thoughts
An emotionally unstable spouse usually makes you question your actions and your sanity, so ask yourself if I’ve done anything wrong. Be objective, and watch yourself and your husband, have you really done anything wrong as he portrays you or not.
Take advantage of others’ points of view
Talk to your trusted friend about what’s going on. You need to know an outside opinion about whether or not your spouse is overbehaving, or if you have already done something wrong. A neutral person often has a clearer view of what is happening.
Don’t get caught up in the drama
An emotionally unstable person often needs someone else to share their game of “drama” with, so don’t give in to the drama they are weaving around you, refuse to participate and walk away.
If your spouse assaults you verbally, mentally, or emotionally, simply leave the conversation. Don’t let him do that, ask him to talk to you kindly, and don’t accept anything less.
Asking for respect
Remind your husband that the way he talks to you is not acceptable. Teach him how to treat you, and ask him to treat you with respect.
Don’t get caught up in the emotional storm they create even though you want to defend yourself, as this will help the situation progress. Try to remain calm and rational, because this is the only way people can speak in a healthy way.
Suggestion of treatment
Often, the emotionally unstable cannot get better on their own. Going to a trained therapist or psychologist is something they should probably do.
If all fails
Not all relationships can survive even under the best of circumstances. If you’ve tried everything in your power to mend your relationship and make it healthy with someone who is emotionally unstable, then maybe it’s time to end the relationship and move on with life.