5 phrases from Amber Heard’s first testimony at Johnny Depp’s trial

(CNN) — Amber Heard took the stand in her defense this week in a $50 million defamation lawsuit brought by her ex-husband, Johnny Depp.

Depp sued Heard for $50 million over a 2018 opinion piece he wrote for The Washington Post in which he described himself as a “public figure representing domestic abuse.” Although Depp was not named in the article, the actor claims that he cost him lucrative jobs.

These are 5 sentences from Amber Heard’s initial testimony.

1. “I’m having a hard time finding the words to describe how painful this is. It’s horrible for me to sit here for weeks and relive everything.”

Amber Heard’s testimony began with a few words about how she felt about testifying at the trial of Depp’s lawsuit against her. Heard’s testimony comes 14 days into the trial, after weeks in which jurors have heard testimony about the explosive relationship between the actors, including Depp himself, who stated over several days that he never he had hit a woman in his life and accused Heard of mistreatment.

2. “When I was around Johnny, I felt like he was the most beautiful person in the world. He made me feel like I was worth a million dollars.”

This is how Heard began his testimony at the trial in which he talked about how his romantic relationship with Depp began around 2011 when they spent days in a “bubble” listening to music, reading together, but then, he said, he disappeared.

3. “Me I laughed because I thought he was joking. And she slapped me”

About that event, Heard said she believed Depp was using cocaine, that there was an old bottle of cocaine nearby, and that they were sitting on a couch together when she asked him about a tattoo on his arm and he told her it said “Wino.”

She said she laughed because she thought he was joking and then he hit her. “And I laughed. I laughed because I didn’t know what else to do. I thought this must be a joke. I didn’t know what was going on. I just looked at it.”

Heard then added that Depp hit her two more times, so she was forced to leave the scene.

Depp denies that he ever hit her.

4. “I knew that it was wrong and I knew I had to quit. And that’s what broke my heart. Because I didn’t want to leave it”

After the alleged hit Heard is talking about, she said Depp got down on one knee, cried and apologized, saying, “I thought I pushed the monster away.”

It was unclear what year the alleged incident occurred.

Heard said she left shortly after the incident and received texts from Depp apologizing profusely saying “I’d rather cut off my hand than put it on you” and that he understood she could never forgive him.

Heard said they reconciled shortly after the incident and that he promised her he would never hit her again.

5. “The he was the love of my life. But he was also this other thing. And the other thing was something horrible.”

The actress described the relationship continuing with an escalation of violence that she believed was due to Depp’s drinking. Heard testified that Depp pushed her, punched her, shoved her and that the fights quickly escalated.

Heard and Depp met in 2009 and in 2011 they began a romantic relationship. They were married between 2015 and 2016. They now accuse each other of acts of physical violence during their relationship. Both have denied the other’s claims.

Heard accuses Depp of sexual violence

Heard also detailed an incident in 2013 in which she says Depp performed a “cavity search” on her against her will.

Heard testified Wednesday that she and Depp were with friends getting high at a party in a desert lodging area made up of several trailers, and that when she and Depp returned to their room, Depp began breaking things inside her trailer. He accused her of hiding the cocaine from her, Heard testified, and began ripping her dress and underwear off her.

“He was saying to me, ‘Let’s do a cavity search, okay?’ He put his fingers inside me,” Heard testified.

A forensic psychologist hired by Heard’s legal team previously testified that she determined Heard had been subjected to sexual violence by Depp.

Depp has previously denied all allegations against him.

Heard described the ups and downs of her relationship with Depp, with periods of calm when the actor was sober.