(CNN) –– Amber Heard has said it all: from the treatment she received from the public during the defamation trial that pitted her against ex-husband Johnny Depp to her truth about his alleged abuse.
Heard sat down for an exclusive interview, her first since the trial, with NBC News’ Savannah Guthrie, and a portion of the conversation aired Tuesday on “Today.”
The actress has not retracted allegations that Depp physically and emotionally abused her during their marriage.
“Until the day I die, I will stand by every word of my testimony,” he told Guthrie.
Heard also acknowledged the negative image the case casts on her and her ex-husband.
“I wouldn’t blame a normal person for looking at this, and how it’s been covered up, and considering them to be Hollywood brats at their worst,” he told Guthrie. “But what people don’t understand is that it’s actually much more serious than that,” he insisted.
Heard also pointed out that he believed that “the vast majority of this trial took place on social networks”, precisely referring to the number of memes and parodies about the case that circulated on TikTok and other platforms. She further argued that the jury was “not immune” to their unflattering portrayals of her.
“I think even a jury with the best of intentions would have been unable to prevent this,” he said.
Guthrie pressed Heard about whether she had assaulted Depp after the actress said she never got into a physical fight with her ex-husband, despite audio played during the trial that appeared to show she had.
Guthrie noted that Heard’s alleged assault was “as clear as black and white” in a court transcript.
“As I testified on the stand about this, it’s about when your life is at risk you’re not just going to take the blame for things that you shouldn’t take responsibility for,” he said.
“But also when you’re in a psychologically, emotionally and physically abusive dynamic, you don’t have the resources that, say, you or I have to afford to say ‘Hey, this is black and white,’ because it’s either when you live. on that,” he added.
Heard admitted that she “did and said horrible things throughout our relationship.”
“I behaved horribly, almost unrecognizable to myself,” she acknowledged. “I have so much regret.”
Depp sued Heard for $50 million, accusing her of defaming him in an op-ed she wrote on The Washington Post in 2018, and in which she recounted her experience with domestic violence.
Depp’s name does not appear in Heard’s article, but the actor maintained that he lost jobs for that reason. Heard countersued him for $100 million.
Both Heard and Depp were found guilty by a jury of defaming each other. However, it dealt significantly more damage to Depp.
Heard said during her interview that in the days leading up to the trial she had to walk past groups of Depp supporters on her way to court, who held signs disparaging her with phrases like “Death to Amber.”
The courtroom was packed with “vociferous and energetic” fans of Depp’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” character, he said.
“This was the most humiliating and horrible thing I’ve ever been through,” Heard added. “I have never felt more removed from my own humanity. I felt less than human,” she said.
Heard said she believes the verdict could have been different had they been allowed to appear in her case.
When asked if she thought Depp’s lawyers were better than hers, the actress said her ex-husband’s legal team “did a better job of distracting the jury from the real issues.”
Heard’s lawyers have said they intend to appeal the verdict.
Guthrie noted that he interviewed Heard more than a week after the trial ended.
Before airing an earlier interview with two of Depp’s lawyers, Benjamin Chew and Camille Vasquez, Guthrie revealed that her husband, public relations consultant Michael Feldman, had provided consulting services to Depp and his team, but not in connection with your interview.