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- Avigail Lev said she can determine what you and your partner will argue about
- The therapist created a questionnaire to uncover people’s ‘core beliefs’
- She uses that knowledge to hypothesize what will go wrong in your love life
A couples therapist has created a quiz that she insists can predict problems that will plague your relationship – before they even arise.
Avigail Lev, a San Francisco-based psychotherapist and author who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy, believes that she can determine what you and your partner will argue about down the road using a simple questionnaire.
She explained on her website that the quiz helps her uncover someone’s ‘schema,’ which are the ‘core beliefs that they have about themselves, others, relationships, and the world.’
And the expert said she can use that knowledge to hypothesize what will go wrong in a person’s love life.
The quiz is made up of various statements, and the participant has the option to answer with ‘strongly disagree,’ ‘agree,’ ‘slightly agree,’ ‘disagree,’ or ‘strongly disagree.’
A couples therapist named Avigail Lev (seen) has created a quiz that she insists can predict problems that will plague your relationship – before they even arise
Some of the assertions include, ‘I feel a lot of shame about myself,’ ‘I go along with things that I don’t really want to do,’ and, ‘I am highly critical of myself when I make mistakes.’
‘It’s difficult for me to spend time away from my partner,’ ‘I rarely get the love, affection, and attention that I need,’ and, ‘It is difficult for me to take “no” for an answer,’ are more affirmations in the quiz.
Avigail believes that your ‘schema’ develops in ‘early childhood’ based on your ‘experiences with your environment, including your family, peers, and siblings.’
‘If our caretaker was unreliable and unstable then we might cope with it through excessive independence and autonomy or we might cope with it by becoming really clingy and needy with the people we love for fear that we will lose them,’ her website states.
‘Whatever coping strategies we learned or stumbled onto, we now continue to use over and over again in our adult relationships.
‘This leads us to create a self-fulfilling prophecy in our current relationships where the same needs that were not meant for us in childhood continue not to get met in our current relationships.’
There are many different types of schemas, some being defectiveness or shame, entitlement, unrealistic high standards, pessimism, and dependence.
She said the ‘goal’ of the test is to ‘understand what triggers your schemas, what your typical coping responses are when your schemas get triggered, and to be able to identify new alternative behaviors that are based on your values and the kind of person you want to be.’
She said the questionnaire determines your ‘schema,’ which are the ‘core beliefs that you have about yourself, others, relationships, and the world’ (stock image)
‘This understanding is the first step toward changing how we interact with others and ourselves, offering a path to healthier and more satisfying relationships,’ her website adds.
While chatting with Business Insider about it, she explained, ‘When we look at what people believe, it tells us about how they behave.’
She told the publication that she can determine ‘what a couple’s arguments are before she even meets them’ based off how one of them answers her questionnaire ’90 per cent of the time.’
She also created a separate questionnaire to determine how your schema could impact your workplace.
This one has statements that say things like, ‘I feel a sense of loneliness and unbelonging at work and with my coworkers and colleagues,’ and, ‘I’m constantly comparing myself to others including colleagues and coworkers that seem more successful than I am.’
