Some people suffer from “main personality syndrome,” where they tend to walk in the world as if the whole world revolves around them, and feel shaken when they realize that they are not the center of everyone’s lives. This often happens when they find out that their friend went out with someone else, or Even when the friend talks about spending time with other people.
If you already feel insecure in your social connections, the idea of your friends having other friends may be particularly arousing, and in such a case you may be quick to assume that Your friend is withdrawing from your friendshipOr does not put you on the priority list.
What are the causes of this feeling and how can one get rid of it?
Psychiatrist Dr. Hamza Al-Sammadi says: Personal experiences and individual growth sometimes stimulate deeper thinking about the nature of friendships and how they can affect personal life, and sometimes some of us face emotional challenges that make them feel hate or resentment when they discover that their friends have additional friendships. This feeling can be complex, and is affected by several psychological and social factors.
Reasons to hate friends of friends
There are several reasons that may indicate why some people hate having friends who have other friendships, and these reasons can be psychological or emotional, and they include:
- Jealousy and rivalry: An individual may feel jealous or competitive when he sees his friends spending time with other people, and he may fear that he will lose his status or that their interest in him will decrease.
- Possibility of loss of belonging: Some fear that having additional friendships leads to a loss of belonging or feeling cared for, so they wish to maintain exclusive relationships to foster a sense of distance.
- Previous negative experiences: If they have had past experiences with friends who left them for other friends, they may have historical concerns about this type of relationship.
- Need for confirmation and trust: This behavior may indicate a personal need for affirmation and trust. The person may feel that if their friends have other friends it means that they may not be sufficient in support and trust.
Important tips
During his conversation with Al Jazeera Net, psychologist Al-Sammadi provides a set of tips to help people who have this feeling, including:
- effective communication: Try to be understanding and listen carefully to understand the reasons and feelings that the person is experiencing, so speak honestly andOpen communication channels It can be an important first step.
- Boost self-confidence: Help the person boost his self-confidence by enhancing the positives and personal abilities he possesses. Working to improve self-image may be of great importance.
- Activate personal interests: Encouraging the discovery and development of new hobbies and interests can provide a source of happiness and personal motivation.
- Promoting understanding about social relationships: It is done through psychological support sessions or emotional counseling, which are useful for better understanding the nature of relationships and how to deal with current challenges.
Friend’s “monopoly.”
In turn, social family counselor Mufid Sarhan says: By virtue of social relationships and the nature of human needs, a person often has a group of friends rather than a single friend, and the number of these friends varies from one person to another.
It is necessary to be aware of the importance of friends in a person’s life and to maintain them, according to Sarhan in his interview with Al Jazeera Net. This requires respecting the privacy of others, and understanding the right of a friend to have other friendships, not just one friend. Rather, the multiplicity of friendships enriches relationships, and not feeling that He has the right to “monopoly” the friend and prevent him from establishing other relationships.
He adds: Some people have a belief that a friend is his friend’s “property” and that he does not have the right to establish relationships with others, and they hate that their friend has other friends. This is a wrong and inadequate understanding, and it is a type of unhealthy jealousy that is harmful to social relationships and even destroys relationships with others.
Possessiveness in relationships
Sarhan says: The basic principle is that a friend should be proud of his friends’ successes and the depth and breadth of their relationships. To include large numbers of people. This “deadly” jealousy of friends of friends is evidence of weak character, narrow-mindedness, and love of “possession” even in relationships.
A person may express these feelings by feeling upset when hearing the names of other friends, and he may belittle them, disparage them, criticize them, and use inappropriate words towards them, according to Sarhan.
He explains that such people often have problems even in dealing with others colleaguesAnd they may intend to cause problems and cause trouble among them.
He concludes that a loyal friend who cares about his friends – even jealous ones – can influence them positively by communicating with everyone without neglecting any of them.
Uncomfortable feelings
Regarding “hating friends of friends,” the Wondermind website published some tips to get rid of these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, including:
- Calm the jealousy in your brain: If your friendship struggles are rooted in jealousy, the best way to deal is to take a step back and focus on how your friends appear to you and evaluate the friendship; It may be one-sided or it may be healthy duality, but you are overthinking things.
- Find inner peace: Sometimes you allow jealousy and fear to control you, but in the end you are responsible for your feelings and actions, and you must find inner peace by relying on your self-worth, and reminding yourself that you are good enough and bring a lot to a friendship.
- Get rid of unhealthy feeling habits: It is one of the ways Dealing with feelings of rejection The skill of intense exercise, regular breathing and muscle relaxation.
- Talk about what’s on your mind: Conversations may be difficult and lead to disagreement or tear apart a friendship, but you can do so with confidence and communicate with your friend kindly rather than accusing them of hurting you.