Drag Queen, 27, reveals how his glamorous on-stage alter-ego threatens who he is as a man

A drag queen has revealed how he has broken down over fear of losing himself after his stunning, extroverted on-stage alter-ego became his priority.

Jake Kosarew, 27, from Wollongong, loves his on-stage alter-ego – Ellawarra – but says he struggles to draw a line between work and play and fears he is losing himself to the glamorous powerhouse.

Speaking to Daily Mail Australia the professional drag queen revealed he now spends more time as Ella, than he does as Jake, and it has even cost him a relationship.

Jake Kosarew, 27, from Wollongong, loves his on-stage alter-ego – Ellawarra – but says he struggles to draw a line between work and play and fears he is losing himself to the glamorous powerhouse

peaking to Daily Mail Australia the professional drag queen revealed he now spends more time as Ella, than he does as Jake, and it has even cost him a relationship

This photo made the young man emotional – as he has since started laser hair removal on his face

‘I just pour everything into her, she is my business. But along the way my partner left me, and that is hard,’ he said.

‘And my friends love and support Ella – they love when she pops into parties. She is loud and fabulous.

‘But they have told me they like Jake better, and they wish they got to see more of him,’ he said. 

He broke down recently when he saw a picture of himself with a beard because he has since had laser hair removal to permanently remove his facial hair.

‘I cried because it felt like I had lost even more of Jake. And I love who Jake was. And although I did it to make putting makeup on for work easier I cried a little bit knowing that manly piece of me was gone,’ he said. 

The young man, who first dressed up in drag for a Mardi Gras parade just two years ago, now owns so many outfits, wigs and high heels ‘Ella’ needs her very own room.

The young man, who first dressed up in drag for a Mardi Gras parade just two years ago, now owns so many outfits, wigs and high heels ‘Ella’ needs her very own room

Ellawarra has her own wine label and other merchandise, and an enviable shoe collection

‘I can’t remember the last time I bought clothes for Jake. I buy clothes for Ella everyday,’ he said.

Jake, who often talks about himself in third person, taught himself to use makeup.

‘The first look I had done by a professional artist was great at the time but a bit tragic now I look back,’ he said.

He now performs on stage in Wollongong and Sydney and has a regular show on Youtube with fellow drag queen Roxee Horror.

Jake says juggling his male private life with his female career is proving difficult

He now appears online with fellow drag Queen Roxee Horror

He is a self-taught beauty queen and has never had any make up lessons

‘We thought Covid would be bad for us, I had just quit my job to work as Ella when everything got locked down.

‘So I started a video project with my friend and now we are busier than ever,’ he said.

The Word Vomit  series has lead them to booking more on-stage gigs now that restrictions have eased up.

Now that Jake’s business is going well he is making a huge effort to draw up strict boundaries to separate work from play.

He laughs when he shows up at gigs as Ella – because his car is a giant truck

His career is booming – but now he spends more time as Ella – and even dresses as her when he sees friends

He said he misses being able to go to the pub with his mates and ‘pick up guys’ as Jake

‘I just miss going to the pub as Jake. Hanging out with my mates and going to the pub and meeting boys, as a boy,’ he said.

The young man, who went to an all boys school, says he will never abandon Ella – as he feels he finally found his dream job.

‘I get paid to be creative, to dress up and goof off on stage and I love it so much,’ he said.

The makeup and outfits give Ella many looks – but all of them are fierce

He reflected on how far he had come since leaving school – where he was too afraid to come out and even had girlfriends.

‘I see guys I went to school with now and they think what I am doing is great,’ he said. 

He says he doesn’t struggle with gender identity – and still sees himself as a man but needs to fine tune his work-life balance.