A much-loved great grandmother’s body has finally been cremated after being left in a mortuary for three weeks because her children could not agree on what style of farewell she should receive.
Five siblings fell into two camps: two thought their mother should have a proper funeral and three others believed she had wanted to be sent-off without ceremony.
A judge was called upon to resolve what escalated into a legal dispute, and ordered the 93-year-old’s body be cremated on Christmas Eve after a service at which none of her children was allowed to speak.
The case highlights the responsibilities of executors of estates and poses questions about whether funerals are more for the benefit of the living or the dead.
Betty Batson died at a New South Wales Central Coast nursing home on December 2 but had to wait until Thursday to be cremated at Northern Suburbs Crematorium in Sydney.
Mrs Batson’s wish to be cremated had not been carried out sooner because of a dispute between her two executors, daughters Jenise McCredie and Karen Batson.
Much-loved great grandmother Betty Batson’s body was left in a mortuary for three weeks because her children could not agree on what style of farewell she should receive. Mrs Batson is pictured on her 90th birthday
Mrs Batson’s wish to be cremated had not been carried out sooner because of a dispute between her two executors, daughters Jenise McCredie and Karen Batson. Mrs McMcredie is pictured with her husband Bruce
Betty Batson died at a New South Wales Central Coast nursing home on December 2 and was laid to rest at Northern Suburbs Crematorium (pictured) in Sydney on December 24
Ms McCredie, who wanted a small funeral for her mother, took Ms Batson, who wanted no more than a cremation, to the New South Wales Supreme Court.
The pair spent $50,000 on lawyers in a case filed on December 18, argued on December 22 and determined on December 23.
Some of the acrimony among the siblings could be traced back to the death of their father Douglas in July 2011 and the organisation of his cremation, which was conducted by White Lady Funerals.
‘Several family members gave evidence that [Ms McCredie] took too much control of his funeral and it was not conducted in accordance with the wishes of Betty Batson,’ Justice Michael Slattery found.
‘There is some substance to this criticism. The court accepts there was a residual underlying resentment from family members that [Ms McCredie] was neither inclusive not consultative on this occasion.
‘That led to the deceased not wanting her funeral to be controlled in the same way as her husband’s funeral had been.’
Mrs Batson had formed a ‘firm conviction’ that she did not want a public funeral but rather a private cremation that only her family would attend.
‘She appears to have thought that his would reduce family tension,’ Justice Slattery found. ‘But what has emerged instead is a contest about what her wishes were for the disposal of her body after death.’
Some of the acrimony among the siblings could be traced back to the death of their father Douglas in July 2011 and the organisation of his cremation, which was conducted by White Lady Funerals
‘Whilst it is accepted the deceased wanted modesty and simplicity in the conduct of her funeral, the conflict between the family itself indicates that complete simplicity cannot be achieved.’
All five children agreed they would like to grant their mother’s wishes that she be cremated without any religious ceremony.
They also agreed their mother’s preference was for ‘something modest and straightforward and that she did not want anything “showy”,’ Justice Slattery said.
However, the siblings could not even agree on who should conduct the funeral.
Ms Batson believed her mother wanted the cremation to be organised by Simplicity Funerals with no fanfare and her ashes to be placed in a niche with those of her husband.
Justice Slattery described Ms Batson’s vision for the funeral as ‘very bare’.
Jenise McCredie, who wanted a small funeral for her mother, took Karen Batson, who wanted no more than a cremation, to the New South Wales Supreme Court (pictured)
‘She had not considered how other people attending the cremation might need to be supported in their grieving in an inclusive atmosphere and where family conflict was minimised,’ he said.
‘For example, many people attending a burial or cremation gain comfort from the presence of others and from calming music.
‘And it is not possible to conduct a service that is compatible with the most basic norms of human dignity without something being said about the deceased.’
Ms McCredie wanted a service conducted by the more expensive White Lady Funerals, whose all-female staff are known for their burgundy brimmed hats.
Justice Slattery accepted Ms McCredie’s evidence that her mother had described her husband’s funeral as ‘a really lovely service’ and she would like ‘something similar with White Lady Funerals.’
In more recent years, however, Mrs Batson had made it clear she did not want a public funeral.
All five children agreed they would like to grant their mother’s wishes that she be cremated without any religious ceremony and her ashes interred with those of her husband Douglas. Stock image
Justice Slattery ordered Mrs Batson’s remains be cremated on Christmas Eve in a service organised by White Lady Funerals. It could not be advertised in any media.
Only relatives and Mrs Batson’s hairdresser could be invited to attend the cremation which would be conducted by a ‘senior officer’ from the funeral company.
That officer had to ask each of the five siblings for ‘concise information and reflections about the deceased’ to be delivered by her at the service.
Neither Ms McCredie nor Ms Batson was allowed to give a eulogy and neither was permitted to instruct anyone else to speak on their behalf at the service.
No choral singing was to occur but some recorded background music could be played.
‘The senior officer is requested to conduct the cremation with a theme of modesty and without excessive display in accordance with the wishes of the deceased,’ Justice Slattery ruled.
Mrs Batson’s son Peter Jasper-Batson had given evidence saying she did not want a ‘conventional funeral’, but Ms McCredie’s husband Bruce said his mother-in-law wanted a ‘small private funeral with the family.’
Justice Slattery accepted Mrs Batson was ‘quite competent’ when in September this year she made a statutory declaration confirming ‘I do not wish for a funeral service to be carried out on my passing.’
‘That clearly meant she did not want a conventional funeral like the one for her husband,’ he found. ‘But what does it mean positively?
‘The court finds, from a range of conflicting evidence, that all she wanted was something simple framed around her cremation.
‘She certainly did not want to compel family members who had not visited her in her final years to be present.
‘But nothing in the evidence suggests that she was prepared to take positive steps to exclude them from a purely family cremation service.
‘The court concludes that a modest but dignified family gathering constructed around her cremation was what she wanted.’
Justice Slattery said any service must accommodate the needs of grieving relatives while being compatible with the deceased’s desire not to have a public funeral.
‘It is quite evident from the existing conflict within this family that if any one family member were to speak at the funeral that that may cause aggravation and resentment to other family members.’
Mrs Batson’s son Peter Jasper-Batson said she did not want a ‘conventional funeral’, while Ms McCredie’s husband Bruce said his mother-in-law wanted a ‘small private funeral with the family.’ Stock image
Justice Slattery ordered the service be conducted by White Lady Funerals due to Mrs Batson’s stated preference and because that operator would have greater resources than Simplicity Funerals.
Both businesses are subsidiaries of InvoCare Limited.
‘With such a divided family, someone under the authority of the court’s orders who can immediately command respect must conduct the cremation,’ he ruled.
‘This is required for the process to move ahead honouring the deceased and providing comfort and reconciliation to those family members who are attending and avoiding spontaneous conflict with the family.’
‘It is expected that such professional judgment is more likely to be available at a slightly higher priced funeral service provider.’
Mrs Batson’s ashes were to be placed in a niche with her husband and the cost of her funeral paid out of her estate.
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