Greg Gutfeld: Media the most egocentric fools on the planet

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According to Vice News, which apparently still exists, folks in the media are struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by the January 6 breach of the capitol. 

In fact, some reporters won’t even return to the building and others are in therapy. 

One long-time reporter, meaning he’s old, had to retire soon after the attack, and others can’t sleep. Maybe they saw their ratings. 

One Bloomberg News reporter named Eric Wassan claims feels unsafe in his house, which is weird because he lives in DC where people feel unsafe when they leave their house. 

Apparently seeing a clown in a Viking hat knocking over a bottle of white-out on Dick Durban’s desk is tantamount to being mauled by ISIS in your kitchen. 

They’re more distraught than the Kardashians during a silicon shortage. 

Thank God we haven’t had a war on our soil yet, how would they be able to cover it? There would be a run on scented candles and dream journals. 

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But can you blame these poor souls? When you hear about January 6, you’re convinced it’s worse than 9/11. 

Perhaps it is, but to them. 

MATTHEW DOWD ON MSNBC: To me, though there was less loss of life on January 6, January 6 was worse than 9/11, because it’s continued to rip our country apart and give permission for people to pursue autocratic means. So I think we’re in a much worse place than we’ve been, and as I’ve said to you before, I think we’re in the most perilous place in time since the advent of the Civil War. 

He’s just crazy. 

Yeah, to him it was worse than 9/11. Tell it to the families of the 9/11 first responders. 

But that’s our media. They’ve never been good at priorities.

A group of largely unarmed housewives and dads walk into the Capitol, and that’s somehow worse than three planes flying into buildings killing thousands. 

Now, I condemn what happened on January 6. Early on I said when Barbarians are at the gates, the Republicans have to be the gates, not the barbarians. That day, they weren’t. 

But the media’s beating the story to death like it’s a teenager caught shoplifting in Tehran. 

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Because it’s a nice distraction from the horrible s— they caused over the past decade. The crime, the violence, the poisoned education system. 

January 6 is their shield from blame. 

I wonder what the Angry White Male thinks. 

Tom Shillue, Angry White Male: Hey guys, one more time, sure, why not? (holds up egg) This is me, this is my brain, this is the media. This (puts egg in frying pan) is me watching stories that the media does about themselves. Any questions? Come on, you’ve got questions, don’t you? I’ll take questions. 

He never takes questions, but I wonder what the Angry Black Male thinks. 

Tyrus, angry black male: (Sleeping) …  Go to sleep. 

The best advice if you can’t sleep. 

I’m wondering, did any of these reporters experience any psychological trauma during the riots of last year. 

Other than having to read or watch their own work. 

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But you know who did suffer, truly? The victims of the riots. The people who owned stores and homes that burned to the ground. But the media seemed a little detached from all that. 

But the media seemed a little detached from all that. Who could forget this delightful moment: 

ALI VELSHI MSNBC ANCHOR: I want to be clear in how I characterize this. This is a protest, and it’s not, generally speaking, unruly. Fires have been started, and there is a crowd that is relishing that. 

It’s just too easy. The crowds weren’t the only ones relishing it. 

Meanwhile, the crime sprees that followed were denied by deceptive dolts like Don Lemon and Joy Reid. 

They denied the crime because they, or their imaginary friends, didn’t experience it first-hand. 

What a great journalism gig. Just report on what personally happens to you, then you never have to do anything. 

So why the hysteria over January 6 as opposed to the ongoing violence in Portland, Atlanta, San Francisco, LA, New York, Seattle. 

Well, the crime spikes couldn’t be used politically because of the race component. But the January 6 mob was whiter than a Dave Matthews fan making snow angels. 

And that is White. 

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So, they tried to tie it to a phantom White supremacy movement. 

But look at the Shaman from January 6. 

Does that guy look like an emblem of White supremacy? That’s not even blackface. 

But look at him. That seems like the opposite of supremacy. And he’s been in jail for six months. 

That’s way longer than the looters and arsonists who caused billions in damages. 

I wonder if shopkeepers feel safe in their homes knowing that this flake is locked up. 

No actors or politicians bothered to bail him out, and he didn’t even set fire to anything. 

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Maybe his worst crime was scaring Nancy Pelosi, but then again, her eyebrows always look like that. 

Clearly, the guy’s unwell, as sick as Matthew Dowd. 

But no one cares, he’s no political hero. He won’t be on MSNBC spewing nonsense about 9/11. 

But not only does the media not care about these suspects, they actually salute rounding them all up. 

So the media creates a narrative that it’s a deadly insurrection caused by the Big Lie, but the big lie was actually their four years pushing of the Russian collusion delusion. 

And when an unarmed protester gets killed, well that’s par for the course. 

Imagine, though, if it were a BLM protestor and not a Trumper. Holy crap. 

So, it’s not surprising to see how the media plays this, squeezing as much juice out of one event while ignoring a crime wave. It’s because the rise in crime implicates the media and the Dems, so they can’t talk about it. 

They spent a year denying it. Some even laughed it off. 

DON LEMON: Yeah, democratic cities are in chaos right now, is this what you want from Joe Biden, they’re going to take your country away, they’re taking down the statues. 

CHRIS CUOMO: Crime is rising. 

DON LEMON: Oh my gosh it’s so bad, and defunding the police, it’s like (rolls eyes.) 

The only time this idiot was right about something, and he was being sarcastic. 

I wonder if they get a royalty every time I play that segment. 

At this rate, Don could probably buy his calf implants. 

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The fact is, the media are the most egocentric fools on the planet. 

Only they could say they’re traumatized by one day in January where an unarmed protestor died, as they ignore the victims of crime around them right now every day. 

But if they didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. Especially if it happened to you. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the July 8, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”