It can be heartbreaking when you pour all your love and care for your child, but he seems to be spending more time with his father than you, but know that you are not alone in this struggle, and there are things you can do that may help you play a bigger role in your child’s life.
In the following report, Bright Side offers some tips for dealing with a child when one parent prefers the other, you can follow to get rid of this problem:
Try to find out why this happened:
If you spend a lot of time with your child, he may be more interested in spending time with his father, considering the nature of the time you spend with them, and vice versa, your son may prefer his father who spends the most time with them because this father knows what they need and want better, To solve this problem, you and your partner can try to spend the same amount of time with your children.
Find out why
Remember that this period will pass:
Young children often prefer one parent over the other for some time, and this is their way of showing their independence, as your child wants to be able to make his own choices, and may choose the ones he is most used to, for example, if the mother is the one who reads them a story Before bed each night, it is understood that they chose her and not their father, so if you do not favor your child for a certain activity, remember that this does not mean that they love you less than that.
Moreover, it is difficult for young children to understand that it is possible to love two people equally at the same time, it is just the way their minds work, and young children can be more attracted to their mother at one time, and then to their father at another time, so Perhaps all you have to do is give your child some time to get out of this stage.
Make sure it’s a while and it will pass
Control your feelings:
When you want to do something with your son while he wants his father to do it with them instead of you, it is understandable that you may feel hurt, however, try not to get too emotional and attack your child for it.
You can even tell them that you feel sad when they choose their dad over you all the time, but try to do it calmly, without making your child feel guilty for choosing him. This will help you communicate better with your child, and sharing your feelings can teach him empathy.
Control your feelings
Empathize with your child:
Sometimes, children may refuse to help them because they want their father to do so, even though this parent is not available at the moment. In these cases, you are the one who will help them.
Sympathize with your child
Remind yourself how valuable you are:
You may feel upset when your child chooses your partner over you, but don’t let that make you feel like a bad mom. It doesn’t mean that you’re somehow worse at parenting than their father. Your child’s preferences don’t reflect your value, and they can just be a stage.
Remind yourself of your worth
List the positive aspects of the father:
Try to emphasize the good aspects of your father when you are with your child. You can point out what are the similarities between you and their father, especially if you both share characteristics that your child likes about you. You can also talk about the things that make their father unique, perhaps even trying to focus on the things that they will enjoy. Your child, which only their father can do or help them, then you can ask your child to name some of the things that they and their father like about you.
Mention the positive aspects of the father