Stamping Ground, Kentucky (Trends Wide) — Matthew Davidson’s death was not unique. It was just one more of 100,000 overdose-related deaths in the United States from May 2020 to April 2021, a record number of deaths while the nation was under control of the pandemic.
His life mirrored that of many people trapped by addiction: entering and leaving rehab; time in jail; anguished and upset family and friends.
Of course, for his mother it was always special. When she wants to feel close to him again, Karen Butcher wraps herself in a quilt made from her son’s favorite t-shirts. And to try to help other people avoid their fate, he plucks up his courage and speaks openly to Trends Wide.
Matthew Davidson liked to make people laugh, his parents recall.
Helping other young addicts is how you let Matthew’s death offer hope. “They make Matthew’s legacy to help other people not go down that same path,” he said.
Karen said Matthew was a gift to her from the beginning: He was born seven years after his brother when she had expected and longed for a second child.
He was a sociable and lively child, he never stood still. But he also had health problems, as he suffered from hemophilia, a disease in which the blood does not clot properly and which can cause chronic pain.
So Butcher was used to watching him, to being on the lookout for problems, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.
She and Matthew’s stepfather, Gene Butcher, say he rebelled like any other teenager, but they had no special reason to worry until he left home after high school and started working in a restaurant. On good days he was the jovial waiter, happy to make people laugh. Other times, he would get sick, with flu-like symptoms that the Butchers now recognize as withdrawal signs.
“One night he got into trouble for searching the purses of working women,” says Karen. “They had him on camera going through those bags, of course looking for money.”
He also took away his own family. “I was missing some jewelry and I thought one of her friends had broken into my house,” Karen said.
“I never would have guessed it was him. And then he stole from a friend and then a girlfriend.”
Karen Butcher found support in the Parents of Addicted Loved Ones organization.
Matthew’s parents say his addiction may have started with the opioids they prescribed for the severe pain that hemophilia often causes. They believe he may have started crushing and aspirating them, and the move to intravenous use may have been easy for a young man used to injections of other medications for his disease.
When she first went to rehab, Karen hoped and believed that her son would be the one to overcome his addiction.
But she went through what she recognizes as the common cycle of rehab and relapse. He even suffered several overdoses, from which he was saved thanks to the fact that people saw him and the emergency services revived him.
Until Memorial Day 2020.
Karen was preparing to visit a friend when she saw missed calls from Matthew’s number on her phone. When he called back, it was Matthew’s girlfriend who answered hysterically, and they were on their way to the ER.
She believes that he chose to take heroin that day, and that it was contaminated with a trace amount of fentanyl, a drug so deadly and powerful that it was responsible for 64,000 of the 100,000 recorded overdose deaths, although most people did not know that I was taking it.
“I just knew in my mother’s heart that my son was dead,” Karen told Trends Wide.
This is the last photo Karen took with her son Matthew, who died of an overdose.
He went into the hospital room to see him.
“I guess he had been dead for a while because his body was cold,” he said. “I remember yelling ‘I wasn’t ready to let you go’ and spending some time alone with him, you know, stroking his hair, touching his hands, it looked like he was asleep.”
While Matthew was alive, his parents sought information and feedback on what was going on and how to help.
Some of the comments weren’t helpful – people who thought he could just quit or that rehab was a guaranteed way out – but they were also introduced to support groups like Parents of Addicted Loved Ones.
Karen had a quilt made out of Matthew’s favorite shirts.
Karen ended up creating the first section of that group in Kentucky and has continued with it, trying to help others, even after losing Matthew.
“I don’t want this to happen to other people. I even have a special place in my heart for other people’s children,” he said.
“Yesterday someone called me who has probably been through 15 treatment programs and knows that I lost Matthew and I talked to him about what you want in life. What prevents you from continuing the treatment?”
She knows how difficult it is to move from treatment to living a life of recovery, but she tries to find a way for those who approach her.
Karen says she steers away from overwhelming loss statistics to make them manageable. “I think, ‘Who can I help today?'” He said.
She wants to prevent others from suffering the loss that she will never overcome, how the mixed family she formed with Gene, consisting of five children, is always missing one.
“There will always be a gap in the photos, there is no longer a photo of the five children, there is a photo of four,” he said.
“I can imagine a niche in that photo or in family meals. There is no chair with Matthew.”
– Miguel Marquez reported from Kentucky and Rachel Clarke wrote from Atlanta.
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