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A beauty queen with antisocial personality disorder has revealed how her condition affects her romantic relationships – and why it has made cheating ‘easy’ in the past.
Miss World Australia finalist Kanika Batra, 26, discussed her mental health in a recent YouTube video titled ‘Interview with a sociopath’.
The Sydney model said she has been assessed by ‘a dozen’ psychiatrists who all concluded that she has an ‘anti-social and narcissistic personality’, characterised by a lack of empathy, disregard for others, and a tendency to lie and manipulate.
Like all who live with antisocial personality disorder, Ms Batra said she struggles with impulsive urges, feelings of emptiness and unstable moods.
Her condition means she never feels guilt, remorse or shame, which she said makes it ‘hard to be a morally good’ person and easier to be unfaithful.
Model and Miss World Australia finalist Kanika Batra (pictured) has antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder
Ms Batra, who is currently engaged to her boyfriend, Sam, said she has cheated in three of her past five relationships because she doesn’t feel the guilt that typically comes with betrayal.
‘I just didn’t have that sort of regard for that person because it didn’t make me feel bad to see somebody else,’ she said.
‘It didn’t make me feel guilty. I didn’t get home and then like, not sleep at night because I had betrayed somebody. It’s easy for us to switch that part off [and] compartmentalise.’
Ms Batra said she can be ‘quite vengeful’ and is likely to show her ‘mean streak’ to anyone who hurts her.
The Sydney model (pictured) said she has been assessed by ‘a dozen’ psychiatrists who all concluded that she has an ‘anti-social and narcissistic personality’
Although she feels no remorse for her past wrongdoings, Ms Batra said she tries to learn from them to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
And when it comes to positive emotions, Ms Batra said it’s rare that she feels truly happy.
‘I feel satisfied with life, I feel that I’m doing adequately well, but I don’t think I experience happiness in the same way a neurotypical would,’ she said.
While she likes to be ‘open and upfront’ with people she dates, Ms Batra said she doesn’t reveal her personality disorder until she gets to know a potential partner.
‘With all of the stigma and all of the hatred that’s shoved down your throat, I like to give myself a chance,’ she said.
In the early stages of a relationship, Ms Batra said she and others with ASPD are prone to ‘love bombing’, an attempt to influence a person by overt gestures of attention and affection that stems from manipulative behaviour.
‘This is just us getting to know you,’ she said.
‘We don’t really know how to control ourselves in that sort of way so all we do is we message you to find out everything about you, and we want to see you all the time – that’s just how we kind of get to feel what this relationship will be.’
Ms Batra said she had to ‘physically teach’ herself to blink because her tendency to lock eye contact unnerved those around her.
She said she learned charm and charisma by mirroring actions and emotional responses and has built her persona around the identities of others.
‘I feel like if you strip all of that away, at the core, there would be nothing…it’s quite sad,’ Ms Batra said.
Like all who live with antisocial personality disorder, Ms Batra (pictured) said she struggles with impulsive urges, addiction, feelings of emptiness and unstable moods
Ms Batra (pictured) said she had to ‘physically teach’ herself to blink because her tendency to lock eye contact unnerved those around her
Because of her condition, Ms Batra said she doesn’t plan to have children until she has had ‘complete therapy’ to ensure she can provide for them ‘physically, emotionally and financially’.
The clip, which has been viewed almost 77,000 times since it was uploaded on April 26, has drawn widespread praise.
‘As a therapist, you’ve given me a different understanding and perspective about antisocial personality disorder. Thank you for speaking about this topic and sharing your experience and insight!’ one woman wrote.
A man added: ‘I feel like I am watching the most honest woman in the world.’
‘You have no idea how much you’re helping people understand this disorder, we appreciate your authenticity and how real and honest you are about all of this,’ said another.
For more information about personality disorders, please visit Way Ahead Australia here.
