A mother has gone viral for explaining why she is teaching her five daughters that there is ‘no such thing as virginity.’
Cayce LaCorte, a 40-year-old writer from Charleston, South Carolina, says that her daughters, aged seven to 16, are being raised to view sex as important — but ‘virginity’ as irrelevant.
In a viral TikTok video, Cayce explains that virginity is just a ‘patriarchal concept used to control women,’ and though she wants her girls to view sex as a ‘big deal,’ the first time they have it shouldn’t come wth any extra pressure or judgement.
New parenting: Cayce LaCorte , a 40-year-old writer from Charleston, South Carolina, is teaching her five daughters that there is ‘no such thing as virginity’
In a viral TikTok video, Cayce explains that virginity is just a ‘patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose other than making women feel bad about ourselves’
‘I am raising my five daughters to believe that there is no such thing as virginity,’ she says in the TikTok clip.
‘It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose other than making women feel bad about ourselves.
‘Just because some guy randomly sticks his penis in you at some point in your life does not change your worth, it does not change who you are, it doesn’t do anything other than it happened,’ she goes on.
‘Sex is important. It’s a big deal. It should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time. It’s just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous.
‘And I get a lot of c**p from other moms saying, ‘Oh, well, don’t you think that’ll make your daughters promiscuous?’ I was like, no, I’m raising them to be good people and have solid foundations and make their own choices and make smart, intelligent choices, not because some book says not to,’ she concluded.
Though Cayce prefaced the video by saying she thought she was ‘gonna get a lot of s*** for this,’ she has in fact been heaped with praise — and half a million likes on TikTok.
‘Just because some guy randomly sticks his penis in you at some point in your life does not change your worth, it does not change who you are,’ she said
‘Sex is important. It’s a big deal. It should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time. It’s just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous,’ she added
‘I love this,’ wrote one commenter. ‘I was raped. This made me cry. By your standards I’m not soiled. I’m still worth it.
‘As a therapist there is much praise I want to drop here for you!’ wrote another.
‘We do need to normalize this!!!’ wrote a third. ‘You just shifted my perspective in 15secs, it makes os much sense.’
‘Love this,’ wrote one more. ‘I’ve always taught my daughters that it is more important to protect their credit score than their virginity.’
Even a pastor’s wife chimed in to call purity culture ‘toxic.’
Only a few viewers disagreed with her opinion, and others questioned how she imparts this lesson to her daughters – particularly when so many other people their age are fixated on the concept of virginity.
Another said that they believe virginity is ‘a legit thing’, but they agree that people ‘make it more than it actually is’.
In a follow-up post on her blog, Cayce said she was glad to see all of the different types of positive feedback she’d received, including comments from young parents who want to instill the same values in their children and those who are already doing so.
She’s also head from victims ‘who’s first sexual encounters were not their choice’ and were helped by her video.
‘Love this!’ Though Cayce prefaced the video by saying she thought she was ‘gonna get a lot of s*** for this,’ she has in fact been heaped with praise
Speaking to BuzzFeed, Cayce added: ‘Purity culture is toxic at its core.’
‘Women are treated vastly different than men because its roots are steeped in a history of women being property,’ she said.
‘Can you imagine what the world would look like if society put half as much effort into making the world a safer place for women, instead of worrying that she’s not a virgin for her husband?’
She said that while she has a thick skin, having kids made her realize she wanted to change the way they view the world.
‘I worried for them. There are already so many outside forces actively working against women, yet we are harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be,’ she said.
‘If we want to improve our lives, it has to start with how we see ourselves, as women and as people.
‘This thinking influences how I raise my girls every day, not just during the “sex talks.” If not hating yourself because you’re not a virgin can improve your self-worth, imagine what applying that logic can do for a person over a lifetime,’ she said.
