Normalization of violence in Mexican families, everyone’s responsibility

How would you define family violence? For Fundación JUCONI México, AC, family violence, in its direct definition, is the phenomenon of physical (active or passive), sexual, emotional and/or patrimonial violence exercised by the members of a family and directed towards the members of the same. Any form of violence has high human, social and economic costs, but family violence is one of the most frequent modalities in Mexico (Espinoza Torres et al., 2009).

Let’s just imagine, according to data from the National Institute of Statistics and Geography, 1.36 million families in Mexico suffer from family violence, this is almost 17 times the Azteca Stadium if each seat were a single family.

Self-analysis is difficult, both individually and collectively, to what degree are we ourselves violent as a Mexican family? What violent practices did we live in our childhood and have we brought with us into our adult lives? Have we normalized violence from the home?

Mexican families have reached such a normalization of violence as a way of educating our girls, boys and adolescents that we have had to legislate to avoid it, we had to make it a crime and reform the General Law on the Rights of Girls, Boys and Adolescents, as well as the Federal Civil Code, to prohibit violence or “humiliating” punishment as a form of discipline.

We can always try to excuse ourselves in the typical “that’s how they raised me and look at me”, in the “one hit in time…” and a thousand more phrases, but I think we should ask ourselves, where has that led us as a Mexican society? Do you like how we are as a country? Yes, Mexico is an extraordinary country, but it is impossible not to talk about the ailments, absences and social gaps. Family violence is a silent pandemic.

When there is family violence, the violation goes far beyond physical damage, it is the self-image, affection and attachment that are also violated. For a girl, boy or adolescent, the quality of the attachment that she develops towards her caregivers will affect her psychological development, the formation of her current and future personality and behavior. When home becomes an unsafe place, where do you go? How do you define what is security, peace or love?

The World Health Organization points out that male children and adolescents are more prone to intrafamily physical violence, which probably makes them repeat the cycles of violence when they are older; Girls and female adolescents, on the other hand, are mostly affected by psychological violence, violence that is difficult to report and that conditions or has significant effects on accepting abusive relationships in the future.

Preventing, treating or even reflecting on family violence, especially when it is so ingrained in our own customs, can be not only uncomfortable but also painful, but we can do it.

Dare to develop the ability to name things, put a name to what you feel, what you think, building the freedom to express ourselves is important. Think about how they made you feel when you were a child or adolescent and reflect on how you are making them feel; and if you need it, seek help from your friends, family or professionals, if something fails, try again, break the cycle.

At Fundación JUCONI we work in the most vulnerable and marginalized contexts, in which poverty, hunger, overcrowding and the violation of the rights of children and adolescents have triggered greater conditions of family violence.

For 33 years we have learned and verified that reducing the levels of family violence modifies the risk factors of girls, boys and adolescents, preventing them from adopting risky behaviors for their present and future. If we want a better Mexico for everyone, especially for our children and adolescents, working to reduce family violence is not only relevant, but urgent. Together for girls, boys and adolescents.

*The author is the Technical and Academic Coordinator of Fundación JUCONI México.