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Oman- Have you ever found yourself constantly chasing success and then feeling like you don't reach it?! It's a common experience, and it's very easy to fall under the pressure to succeed.
But, what about the illusion of success? When an individual enters a stage of stillness, he places himself in a framework of overestimating himself and his skills, coupled with ignoring and repeating his mistakes and believing that previous successes are an indicator of future successes.
Or when an individual classifies all his successes as an “illusion,” and builds them on his doubts about his abilities and potential, as if he is impersonating another person; Fear enters his soul and stays with him.
The illusion of success…what is its effect?
Psychiatrist Dr. Ahmed Al-Shalabi says: There are many people who believe that they are successful even though this is not true.
This is due to many reasons. Success is achieving what we aspire to in a satisfactory way or reaching the desired goal, but there are those who imagine this because of their exaggerated self-esteem, and demand that others glorify and appreciate them, and enjoy being arrogant over them, exploiting them, exploiting their achievements, and attributing them to themselves.
He also often talks only about himself and his achievements, and uses the word “I” a lot, and those close to him often feel – without realizing it – insecure due to the toxicity of his relationship with them, and an example of this is the narcissistic personality, according to Al-Shalabi’s talk to Al-Jazeera Net.
He continues: These symptoms appear when a person reaches the stage of arrogance, and quickly disappear when he adheres to appropriate treatment.
Do you deserve success?
Al-Shalabi says: On the other hand, there are many people who are successful in their lives, but they do not feel this way. They believe that they are delusional about success, or do not deserve the success they have achieved. They often attribute the reasons for success to external factors or that it is pure “luck” or “coincidence.” “.
According to Al-Shalabi, their self-confidence is non-existent, which creates within them a feeling of constant anxiety and depression because they always fail to do so. Self-satisfaction.
He explains: “Unfortunately, if there are narcissistic people in their lives, they are perfect prey for them and they are exploited and their achievements are exploited to the fullest. This phenomenon is known as Impostor syndrome“Because they believe that they are impersonating the successful person without merit.”
Socialization.. How does it affect?
For his part, sociologist Dr. Hussein Mahadin says: The quality of social upbringing that an individual absorbs within the first institution of upbringing, which is the family, affects the determination and direction of individuals’ attitudes toward themselves and others later on.
He continued, in an interview with Al Jazeera Net, that the process of exaggerated reinforcement, in addition to excessive care by parents, specifically in childhood, often affects the personal traits of individuals of both sexes. Repeated unscientific praise and compliments without a real need for our children only lead them to developing a trait. “Solipsism”, which is children’s mistaken belief that they are the center of the universe to the exclusion of others surrounding them.
Mahadin explains that this exaggeration makes them individuals with little flexibility in accepting others on the one hand, and on the other hand they see that everything they do is always a success, and thus their selves become swollen, in addition to their lack of mental and behavioral flexibility intertwined with the constant illusion of success. Consequently, they avoid anyone who seeks to correct their behavior, and the characteristics of the illusion of success are often evident in single parents within their families, according to Mahadin.
Perhaps the most dangerous of all types Upbringing The imbalance among children of both sexes – according to Mahadin – is the increasing number of shocks they receive when they leave the confines of their families towards the vastness of life, and the diversity of skills necessary for these individuals to adapt to others; In the normal sense of general psychosocial development in schools, universities, and later in the workplace.
Mahadin concludes by saying: “A person who is delusional about accumulating successes as a permanent state is more likely to regress or withdraw from public life, and has a tendency toward individualism, weak ability to influence, and a lack of acceptance by others, especially the people closest to him such as brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, and others.” “.
How do you escape this trap?
To avoid falling into the trap of the illusion of success, it is important to develop a healthy and balanced perspective on what success means to us. Here are some tips to help achieve this, according to the Medium website:
- Define success on your own terms: Take some time to think about what really matters to you, and what you want to achieve in life. Write down your goals and aspirations and make sure they align with your values and passions.
- Celebrate small victories: Instead of waiting for big success, celebrate small victories, acknowledge your progress and accomplishments, and be proud of yourself for the effort you put in.
- Focus on the process, not just the result: Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on the process of achieving your goals, enjoy the learning experience, and accept challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth. Remember that success is not just about reaching the finish line.
- Be kind to yourself and others: Do not compare your journey with others, and do not judge yourself or others based on external measures of success. Remember that everyone has their own way and their own definition of success. Be kind to yourself and others to achieve your goals.
