The worst Christmas cracker jokes revealed!

1. What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head 

2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there

3. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer 

4. What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we’ll go places 

5. Why are christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles 

6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis 

7. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve

8. What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season 

9. What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper 

10. What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

Jokes that didn’t make the top ten include ‘What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful’, ‘How do you know if a snowman is actually a lady? It has snowballs (no balls),’ and ‘How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook.’