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Home Australia

The worst Christmas cracker jokes revealed!

by souhaib
December 20, 2020
in Australia
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The worst Christmas cracker jokes revealed!
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Brits vote for their very WORST Christmas cracker jokes (and they’re guaranteed to make you eye-roll!)

  • The top ten worst Christmas cracker jokes have finally been revealed
  • UK-based card company Thortful asked Brits to submit their cracker jokes
  • They were then encouraged to vote for the puns they thought were the worst

By Sam Baker For Mailonline

Published: 13:49 GMT, 20 December 2020 | Updated: 13:57 GMT, 20 December 2020

No Christmas dinner is complete without the cheesy jokes you find inside Christmas crackers – and now the very worst ones have been revealed.

UK-based card company Thortful has announced the top ten very worst cracker jokes as voted for by Brits.

People from around the country were encouraged to send in their classic festive cracker jokes and then vote for the ones that resulted in the biggest eye-roll.

Here, FEMAIL has shared the results so prepare yourself…because some of these are pretty bad! 

UK-based card company Thortful have produced a list of the top ten worst Christmas cracker jokes - as voted for by Brits (stock image)

UK-based card company Thortful have produced a list of the top ten worst Christmas cracker jokes – as voted for by Brits (stock image)

The worst Christmas cracker jokes in the UK 

1. What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head 

2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there

3. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer 

4. What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we’ll go places 

5. Why are christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles 

6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis 

7. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve

8. What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf? You are so last season 

9. What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper 

10. What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

Jokes that didn’t make the top ten include ‘What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful’, ‘How do you know if a snowman is actually a lady? It has snowballs (no balls),’ and ‘How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook.’

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