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The last thing a mother wants to see is an adult scolding her child, it makes her angry and overwhelmed by negative feelings, but often the child must feel that his mother is behaving in a positive way with him and the person who is scolding him.
It is important to remain discreet and handle the situation politely and constructively. In the following report, Bright Side provides the steps you should take when someone undesirably disciplines your child:
1. Make your presence visible
First, asserting yourself in the situation completely changes the dynamic of the conversation, and your child feels safe and protected because an opposing adult should be more respectful in the face of someone of his age, he is not the ultimate authority of the situation now.
You can try this technique: Imitating the other person’s posture and body position. This is called creating a relationship, and it’s a powerful way to resolve potential conflicts and appear authentic and trustworthy.
Make the child feel your presence
2. Evaluate the situation before responding
Anger is never wise advice, so it is important to calm yourself down and treat the situation logically. Take a deep breath and gather information about the cause of the whole problem. It is entirely possible that your child is wrong, that he hit another child, broke someone’s property, or misbehaved in chapter, and so on.
Your motive may be to attack the other person, but it is helpful to think about what you would do in the situation if the roles were reversed.
Evaluate the situation before responding
3. Make your child feel understood
The whole situation may make your child feel confused or frightened. It is important to be patient with your child and make him feel that his emotions are understood. Get down to his eye level and ask him to explain the situation. Refrain from making your judgment at this stage and listen to his explanation of events.
If the child feels understood, he is likely to understand what you are going to say and reconsider his behavior in the future.
Understand your child
4. Be direct with the other person
Be honest with the other person, and politely tell them that you think disciplining your child is your job and that you’d be grateful if they didn’t get involved. You can also suggest that they think about the situation with the opposite roles – you’re the one scolding their child.
Being direct requires a certain level of assertiveness with a mixture of diplomacy, calm, honesty and openness about the situation.
5. Setting boundaries
If the meaningful adult is an influential figure in your child’s life (school teacher, coach, relative), it is important to set boundaries to prevent similar situations. Of course, you are not asking a green light for your children to do as they like in the classroom or on the playground, you are just negotiating For the person to use the same discipline techniques that you use at home, in this way, you create a consistent view in your child’s eyes about right and wrong and how to punish wrong actions.
set limits
6. Explain the situation to your son
When the dust settles, it is important to patiently discuss and explain everything. This step is important because how you perceive mistakes can have long-lasting effects on how your child deals with mistakes and setbacks.
Calm your child but don’t give him pity. This can send a harmful message, that they are absolutely right or they can’t know best. Instead, keep your position and calmly explain why these types of actions are undesirable.
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